I haven't posted in a little while...I was starting to feel like I was repeating myself. I had an anxious beginning to this week. But every time I cycle back into the anxiety, it gets a little easier to come out of it. Or at least to recognize it. I've been doing yoga and my (nonexistent) "abs" are on fire. And I've been going to acupuncture and taking some herbal stuff, which is really helping...(seriously, acupuncture is amazing, you should try it.)
These two guys have also been getting me through some shit: Marc Maron, a comedian who does a podcast called WTF, and Louis C.K., (his TV shows are Louie, and Lucky Louie) also a comedian. The work that both of these guys do makes me feel better about life, like everything is going to be ok. It's so honest and brave and heartfelt, and hilarious. From Marc Maron I've learned so much about how important comedy is, and how that really is their job, to make all of us feel like everything is really going to be ok....to laugh at the hard stuff also means to acknowledge it, to acknowledge your faults and humanity.
So yeah. It's happening. Every day is different. Sometimes I get freaked out by the future. Sometimes I just want to run away from all of it. But as I start to accept things, those fears and instincts are fading.
Someone I really respect said recently to me "Sometimes I wonder whether anybody really knows anything about anything". That is really comforting to me somehow.