work

Today

Hi Guys,

I haven't posted in a little while...I was starting to feel like I was repeating myself. I had an anxious beginning to this week. But every time I cycle back into the anxiety, it gets a little easier to come out of it. Or at least to recognize it. I've been doing yoga and my (nonexistent) "abs" are on fire. And I've been going to acupuncture and taking some herbal stuff, which is really helping...(seriously, acupuncture is amazing, you should try it.)

These two guys have also been getting me through some shit: Marc Maron, a comedian who does a podcast called WTF, and Louis C.K., (his TV shows are Louie, and Lucky Louie) also a comedian. The work that both of these guys do makes me feel better about life, like everything is going to be ok. It's so honest and brave and heartfelt, and hilarious. From Marc Maron I've learned so much about how important comedy is, and how that really is their job, to make all of us feel like everything is really going to be ok....to laugh at the hard stuff also means to acknowledge it, to acknowledge your faults and humanity.

So yeah. It's happening. Every day is different. Sometimes I get freaked out by the future. Sometimes I just want to run away from all of it. But as I start to accept things, those fears and instincts are fading.

Someone I really respect said recently to me "Sometimes I wonder whether anybody really knows anything about anything". That is really comforting to me somehow.

love

me

Rainbows

The Weight

Stuck

Trying

anxiety

Reality

So

The past couple days have felt so much better. I feel like I'm on the ground again, like I'm actually really here. Things are still happening but I'm getting out of the woods now.

To everyone who has been following me these past couple of months as I went through a lot of terrible crap...thanks. It helped so much to have your support. Seriously. Also, I am seriously so tired of talking about myself. I'm bored with myself. It's like I forgot how to be funny. LAME.

So yeah. I love you. Everybody. This year is going to be really exciting......

buh-cause:

XERIC UPDATE

if you were at all curious, the plan is to have the book out for SPX 2011!!!

I am working on a lot (a LOT) of new stories.

YES

plus some other things...anthologies and things.

Here is my memory post for this week:

you know what would be awesome? If you guys told me your memories and stories from your childhood...if you feel like it. Just anything you remember from being a kid. Did you play in the woods a lot too? email me (mendes.me@gmail.com) or comment on this post.

Happy

Sister

Tired of writing about myself

Disneyworld

Meant Disneyworld but wrote Disneyland.

Family

Two

Two from today. I'm going to try to do one of these every day. Until I get sick of it.

Me and me

(click on it if you can't read it....)

(p.s. I just reread it and realized something...by it being "over" I don't mean death. at all. not even a little bit. I just mean, this shitty stuff I'm going through. k?)