In other news, for that holiday I wouldn't tell you about this weekend that my family invented, I received an old chainsaw, a fishing lure shaped like a giant squid, a tiny statue of a bird yelling, a set of plates shaped like blue flowers, a rain poncho, and a lollipop with a terrifying portrait of me taped to it. Best holiday EVER. Also I made a cake shaped like a big pile of dirt with ninjas on it fighting glow-in-the-dark bugs. And we shaved balloons.
I've been listening to too much NPR. And not watching enough Seinfeld.